supercoolhappy

18May11

how i feel, is more important than anything else.

and this is something i get to choose, moment by moment.


remember when, as a child, just the sight of a swing set, or a pony, or a hula-hoop, would get your heart racing and your imagination somersaulting?

and without even thinking in words you felt that surely the world revolved around you, that you were the most blessed creature ever to live, and that having fun was all that really mattered?

i still wonder how we knew so much, at such a tender age.


don’t be afraid to go where you’ve never gone and do what you’ve never done, because both are necessary to have what you’ve never had and be who you’ve never been.


mark twain

26Oct10

twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do, than by the ones you did.

so throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails.

explore, dream, discover.


the only way one can find their way is to first be lost. to make it big, start out small. to fall in love, first feel none.

so, any such feelings of being lost, small, and lonely, are simply a sign that you’ve made a really, really big and daring “wish,” and that its manifestation has already begun.



choices

28Jul10

the trouble with having too many choices, I guess, is the fear that you might pick the wrong one.

yet, I feel like I’m looking over the edge of a cliff, and I’ve dug in all my fingers and toes and am backed up a hundred feet, so there’s no danger of me falling at all. it’s boring, yes, but it feels so much safer. are these short-term thrills really worth the months of healing after?


everytime i see hydrangeas, i remember this passage from tar baby;

“at some point in life the world’s beauty becomes enough. you don’t need to photograph, paint, or even remember it. it is enough. no record of it needs to be kept and you don’t need someone to share it with or tell it to. when that happens – that letting go – you let go because you can. the world will always be there – while you sleep it will be there – when you wake it will be there. a dead hydrangea is as intricate and lovely as one in bloom. bleak sky is as seductive as sunshine, miniature orange trees without blossom or fruit are not defective; they are that. so the windows of the greenhouse can be opened and the weather let in. the latch on the door can be left unhooked, the muslin removed, for the soldier ants are beautiful too and whatever they do will be part of it.”


When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. There’s a chance you could break a bone or a heart. You begin to look before you leap and sometimes you don’t leap at all because you’re not sure there’ll always be someone there to catch you when you fall. And in life, we all know that there’s no safety net.

Hmmm. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?


grunt

03Jul10

shit happens; fact of life.

what I’m really feeling now is not so much of a sense of disappointment pertaining to the loss of potential revenue or commission. but it’s with regards to, once again, my absolute lousy judgment of character. time and time again, I have failed to err on the side of caution. I have trusted one too many people, and yet, still naively believe that people will treat me the same way I treat them.

ROAR.




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